


heaven help the ones who fly away

by alinaandalion



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, a what-if scenario for the terrible wedding, but not hook, emma is a runaway bride, he's just mentioned, so captain swan is present
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-12-02 18:28:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11514987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alinaandalion/pseuds/alinaandalion
Summary: Emma plans her wedding to Hook while Regina watches and tries to be happy for her.  Then it all falls apart.*****The ring glints on Emma’s finger, small and pretty andcharmingin a way that makes Regina want to snarl, and Emma smiles when she sees Regina staring at it.“Do you like it?” Emma asks as she glances down at her hand then back to Regina, her cheeks flushed.  “I still can’t really believe that it’s, you know, actually happening.”“It’s lovely,” Regina says, her mouth pulling tight in a smile.  She looks down into her lukewarm tea; anywhere but at that ring and Emma’s smile.  “I’m sure your mother is excited to plan the wedding.”





	heaven help the ones who fly away

**Author's Note:**

> So, just a couple of notes! I started this way back when they first announced the C$ wedding and I was just so mad about everything that I wanted to do something to fix it. So this fic started happening and then work happened to me and the end result is this fic is finished about two months later than planned! fun times. 
> 
> Also, I touch very briefly on the split queen arc in this fic. I don't explicitly state how it was resolved but please assume that canon is invalid in this regard and the Queen and Regina are back in the same body as it should have been done on the show.

“We took the wrong way down

You see just one side now

Guess that’s what life’s about

What you remember

What we remember

 

There’s only one thing left

It’s what we tell ourselves

The little lies they help us to remember

How we remember

Heaven help the ones who fly away

Heaven help the ones who have to stay and place the blame

Maybe what you think of me won’t change

But I still

Hold on, hold on

Hold on to the old days”

 - “Old Days” by Ingrid Michaelson

 

*****  
  
  


The ring glints on Emma’s finger, small and pretty and _charming_ in a way that makes Regina want to snarl, and Emma smiles when she sees Regina staring at it.

 

“Do you like it?” Emma asks as she glances down at her hand then back to Regina, her cheeks flushed.  “I still can’t really believe that it’s, you know, actually happening.”

 

“It’s lovely,” Regina says, her mouth pulling tight in a smile.  She looks down into her lukewarm tea; anywhere but at that ring and Emma’s smile.  “I’m sure your mother is excited to plan the wedding.”

 

Emma snorts and rolls her eyes as she says, “I think she bought at least ten bridal magazines after I told her last night.  I didn’t think we’d get married so soon, but with all of this Gideon stuff…”

 

“What?  You’re going to have a wedding just in case you die?” Regina asks.  And when Emma’s eyes harden and her smile fades, Regina shakes her head and says, voice soft, “We’ve talked about this.  You’re not going to die.  We’re going to—“

 

“We’re going to find a way.  I _know_ ,” Emma snaps as she slumps back into her chair, flicking her thumb against the band of her ring, shifting it around and around her finger.  “It’s all anyone ever says even though we don’t know what to do.”

 

Regina reaches across the table then, fingers pressed to cool wood, spread and reaching, always reaching.  “You’re not going to die,” she says with all the belief she can muster.  Then she cocks an eyebrow and smirks.  “However, there is a very real possibility of Snow trying to talk you into wearing the poofiest dress she can find.”

 

Emma laughs then, head thrown back, the sound bright and clear, and Regina smiles even as it pierces straight through her.

 

*****

 

The text comes the next day.  Her phone buzzes, and she glances at the screen, her eyes skating over the message preview, the question almost not sinking in even as her breath leaves her lungs in one rushed and shaky exhale.

 

A simple question from Emma:   _Mom wants to know if you’ll be my maid of honor_

 

Then another message pops up:   _it’d mean a lot to me  :)_

 

Seconds later:   _just let me know.  no pressure_

 

Regina swipes to unlock her phone to respond but she freezes with her thumb hovering over the screen’s keyboard, blinking at the texts until the words blur.

 

She swipes at her eyes with her left hand, sighing in irritation.  She lingered too long so now she’s just staring down at a black and blank screen; she unlocks her phone again.

 

And types:   _Of course, I’d love to._

 

*****

 

She’s chopping up carrots at the counter when Henry wanders into the kitchen.  He grins when he sees her, and she manages a small smile as he settles beside her, stealing a thin slice of carrot and biting it in half.

 

“Hook asked me to be his best man,” Henry says.

 

Regina pauses for a second, glancing at Henry’s furrowed brow as he drums his thumbs on the counter, chewing his stolen carrot slowly.  She grips her knife a little more firmly, focusing on the weight of it in her hand as she resumes slicing, eyes fixed to the flash of the blade under the light as she waits for Henry to keep talking.

 

“Do you think I should do it?” he asks.

 

She can feel his agitated shifting beside her, so she stops and puts the knife down, leaning her weight against the counter as she turns to face him.

 

“Do you want to be his best man?” she says, trying to keep her tone and face neutral even as she hopes that Henry will refuse.

 

Henry sighs.  “ _Mom_.”

 

“Well?” she asks, raising an eyebrow when he rolls his eyes.  “My opinion isn’t really relevant here, Henry.”

 

He looks down at the floor, then, mumbling, “I think it’s important to Ma.”

 

Regina nods.  “I’m sure it is.”

 

Henry just shrugs, and when a minute passes, he says, “Do you think he makes her happy?”

 

Regina stiffens, words pressing against her tightly closed lips but she turns back to her cutting board and picks up her knife again, forcing it all back down as far as she can with every slice she makes.  Henry waits beside her, patient, his left shoulder brushing against hers, and she blinks hard when she reaches for another carrot and realizes that she’s finished.

 

She sets the knife down, her fingers resting over the handle and breathes out, “I hope so, Henry.”

 

He squeezes her elbow gently, leaning over to kiss her cheek, and she exhales shakily as he says quietly, “Me too, Mom.”

 

*****

 

“It’s perfect, right?” Emma asks as she smoothes her hands along silk, fingers clenching into fists and releasing as she stares at her reflection in the mirror.

 

Regina meets Emma’s eyes briefly in the reflection before glancing back at the dress, bridal white, floor-length, perfect enough to make Snow burst into tears upon seeing Emma emerge from the dressing room in it.  And now it’s just the two of them while Snow talks to the saleswoman about fittings, and Regina tries not to assign any meaning to Emma’s shadowed eyes or her fragile smile when Snow put a veil on her head.

 

“It’s certainly beautiful,” Regina says as she moves closer to Emma, smiling easily in encouragement as Emma turns her head to look at her.  “What do you think of it?”

 

And Emma’s fingers are twisting her ring around and around again, her shoulders slumping even as she smiles brightly, saying, “I—it’s perfect.  And Mom is really happy with it despite the lack of...poof.”

 

“Emma,” Regina starts, voice soft, but Emma shakes her head.

 

“It’s perfect,” she says, firmer this time.  Her brow furrows as she looks back at her reflection, and then Emma reaches up, unpinning the veil from her hair.  “Except…maybe not a veil.  Maybe just flowers instead?”

 

“You’re the bride,” Regina replies as she takes the veil from Emma’s hands, careful not to grip too tight so she doesn’t tear the soft tulle.  “You should have what you want.”

 

“I do,” Emma says, turning away from the mirror.  “This is what I want.”

 

And Regina reaches out before she realizes what she’s doing, fingers gently tucking Emma’s hair behind her right ear, her voice a soft murmur as she says, “Then I’m happy for you.”

 

“Yeah?” Emma asks, brow furrowed as Regina pulls her hand away.

 

Regina manages to smile.  “Yes, of course.”

 

*****

 

Zelena is the first one to break the silence.  “You look miserable.”

 

“I’m fine,” Regina says with a shrug of her shoulders, reaching for her mug of tea.

 

She would have opted for something harder if she had known Zelena was going to try and talk to her tonight instead of their usual routine of watching Netflix and not talking.  But Zelena has that glint in her eyes that means she at least thinks she’s landed on a juicy piece of gossip and Regina is, well, tired.

 

“You’ve been this way since Emma’s engagement,” Zelena says as she pauses the terrible dance movie she’d insisted on watching.

 

“I don’t want to talk about this,” Regina says through gritted teeth, refusing to look away from the screen where the protagonist is frozen in the middle of a pirouette.

 

“She doesn’t know how you feel,” Zelena starts, but Regina shakes her head furiously and snatches the remote away from Zelena, turning the movie back on.

 

“We’re not talking about this,” Regina says, turning the volume up.

 

“You should at least _talk_ to her,” Zelena says as she tries to reach over and steal the remote back.

 

Regina shakes her head and holds it out of reach.  “She’s _happy_ with him, Zelena.”

 

“But if she knew--”

 

“What?” Regina interrupts, mouth twisting as she stares back at the television screen.  “What good will that do either of us?”

 

Zelena huffs and snaps, “She’d know.  And you deserve to be happy, too.”

 

“I have everything I need,” Regina says, voice soft as she watches the movie.  “Of course I’m happy.”

 

Zelena doesn’t have a quip for that, apparently.  But a moment later, she reaches over and covers Regina’s hand with her own, squeezing it before getting up to refill her tea.  Regina curls up on the couch and covers her eyes with her hands, pressing her palms to her eyelids to force back tears.  Two deep breaths, and it passes, and she opens her eyes again.

  


*****

 

 

When Emma shows up in the doorway of Regina’s office around noon bearing a large brown paper bag, Regina raises her eyebrows and says, “I didn’t know we had scheduled lunch today.”

 

Emma ducks her head, saying, ‘Yeah, well, we didn’t?  And please don’t hate me, but my mom is coming by later.”

 

“What for?” Regina asks as Emma steps inside and drops the bag onto her desk.

 

“Um, well.”  Emma flashes her an apologetic smile and says, “Wedding stuff?  There’s apparently a lot of last-minute things to arrange and I just couldn’t, I don’t know—it’s been a bit much recently.”

 

“So, you want me to act as a buffer?” Regina says, sighing.  When Emma nods, Regina rolls her eyes and mutters, “You had better have gotten me a hamburger, then.”

 

“Better,” Emma says with a small laugh.  “I got you a cheeseburger with bacon.”

 

A small smile tugs at the corners of Regina’s mouth as she pulls the brown bag across the only cleared part of the desk.  She pulls out the wrapped-up burger, ignoring the fries for now, and settles back in her chair as Emma pulls a chair up on the other side of the desk, plopping down in it with a quiet groan before rifling through the bag to produce what Regina suspects is a grilled cheese.

 

“So wedding planning has been more stressful than you thought?” Regina asks, taking a small bite of her burger.

 

Emma rolls her eyes and tears the wrapping off her sandwich as she says, “It’s all anyone wants to talk about anymore.  And I guess it’s a big deal, but it’s not my whole life, you know?”

 

Regina shrugs and says, “Most brides would disagree with you.”

 

“Well, my goal in life hasn’t been to be like most brides,” Emma replies, her upper lip curling.  “I just want for five minutes of my life to not be about this wedding.”

 

“We can discuss the budget for the Storybrooke police department?” Regina says, suppressing a smile when Emma snorts at the idea.  “I do have some concerns about what we can allocate in order to cover your requests.”

 

“That wasn’t a request to make this a working lunch,” Emma says.  She pulls out a container of fries and opens it, offering it to Regina first.  “Fun topics only or I’ll cut off your fries supply.”

 

“Well, lunch was your idea, so why don’t you come up with something to talk about?” Regina says, taking a few fries.

 

“Okay.  How was your hang-out night with Zelena?  I know you only started doing that kind of recently,” Emma says as she fiddles with a fry before popping it into her mouth.

 

“I thought you said fun topics only,” Regina replies dryly.

 

Emma’s eyes soften.  “Well, I care about what’s going on in your life.  Are things still difficult with her?”

 

Regina shrugs.  “It’s gotten better.  She’s just, you know, Zelena.”

 

Emma nods and starts to say something, but Snow bursts into the office then, arms full of folders and her eyes bright as she begins chattering away immediately.

 

“So sorry that I’m running late, but I had to stop by the florist to get the flowers finalized and we started talking and I just lost track of the time.”  Snow stops and takes a breath, smiling when her eyes land on Regina.  “You are the just the person I wanted to see.  I need to schedule your last dress fitting before the wedding.  I have Emma’s next week, and we can do yours at the same time?”

 

Regina freezes, and Emma jumps in quickly, saying, “Regina’s pretty busy, Mom, so maybe she can just schedule her own appointment when she’s free?”

 

“I’m more than happy to do it for whenever Regina wants, honey,” Snow says, her smile strained just the slightest bit.  “The wedding is in two weeks, though, so we need to finish wrapping up all these last details.”

 

“I’ll check my schedule this afternoon and let you know,” Regina says as she puts her burger to the side, hunger suddenly absent.  “Is there anything I can do to help with the planning?”

 

“No, no, I’ve got it all covered,” Snow says, and she sets her armload of folders down on the edge of Regina’s desk, opening the top one and pulling out a piece of paper.  “And while I’m thinking about it, I have the schedule for the day printed out for you.  I’ll send it in an e-mail as well, but this way you can go ahead and get an idea of when things will be.”

 

“No bachelorette party the night before?” Regina asks after surveying the paper.  “Is that something you and Hook decided not to do?”

 

Snow frowns.  “No, Emma isn’t having a party, but Hook is planning one.  Of sorts.  David has been way too excited about it.”

 

When Regina glances in Emma’s direction, Emma catches her eye and shrugs.  “I just—it seemed like something I might have liked when I was younger but now…”

 

Her voice fades into silence and Regina nods, placing the schedule off to the side.  She’ll have to coordinate with Henry later, but for now, she nibbles on a fry and watches Snow fuss with her folders, brow furrowed, while Emma looks on, face drawn as Snow details all the tasks left to complete.

 

She wonders, briefly, if throwing some sort of party is her responsibility, but she dismisses the idea.  The thought makes her stomach roil and if it’s meant to happen, Snow wouldn’t let it slip past.  At least Snow can be dependable that way.

 

*****

 

Regina turns off the water faucet and looks up at her reflection in the mirror.  She’s been hiding in the small bathroom for at least twenty minutes now, unable to bear being in the same room as Emma while guests gather in the chapel for the wedding.  Unable to bear Snow’s flurry of activity while Emma sits and watches, hands in her lap, waiting.

 

She takes a deep breath and straightens her dress.  Deep blue, knee-length, and perfectly tailored to match her perfectly curled hair and painted nails and a mask of make-up she’d painted on with trembling hands this morning.  She can hear the strains of music coming from the chapel; it must be time.  Straightening her spine, she manages to force a smile and slips out of the bathroom, just catching sight of Henry walking Snow down the aisle as she turns the corner.  

 

Emma starts when Regina steps into the room, then relaxes, and Regina asks, “Are you ready?”

 

“Of course,” Emma says, but her smile doesn’t quite reach her eyes and her fingers are fiddling with her ring again.  Around and around and around as Emma stares down at it.  Then she says, “What if I’m not?”

 

“What do you mean?” Regina says as she walks over to Emma.  She reaches out to touch Emma’s shoulder but withdraws, clenching her hand until she can feel her nails biting into her skin.  “You don’t have to walk down that aisle if you don’t want to.”

 

“I want to,” Emma says, her voice cracking as she turns her head away, her veil hiding her face from Regina.  “At least...I think that I do.  I love him, but--”

 

“Emma, what is it?” Regina moves until she can see Emma’s face, her sad eyes, and she crouches down in front of Emma, holding her gaze.

 

“I don’t know.  I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”  Emma shakes her head with a small laugh.  She sits there for a moment, shoulders slumped while Regina watches and waits, and then she says, voice small, “What if I don’t want to marry him?”

 

“Then don’t,” Regina says in immediate response, reaching out to take Emma’s hand.

 

“But I love him,” Emma murmurs even as she grips Regina’s hand tight, eyes wide and shining.

 

Then Emma surges forward, kissing Regina with a hard and desperate mouth, her hands clutching at Regina’s hips, her hair, as Regina reaches up to grab onto Emma’s shoulders, stunned even as she tilts her head until their lips fit together.  Emma softens, shuddering when Regina trails one hand down the back of Emma’s arm and to her hip, holding tight.

 

She can taste the wax of Emma’s red lipstick, feel the brush of Emma’s veil against her cheek, and she stills.  Turning her head to the side, Regina pushes Emma away and takes a few steps back, flushing as she wipes at her mouth as Emma stares at her.

 

“I’m sorry,” Emma says as she stands there, a hand still outstretched, lipstick smeared at the corner of her mouth.

 

Regina presses the tips of her fingers to her lips, heart still beating too fast when there’s a knock at the door.

 

“Emma?” David’s voice slips past the thick wood, and Emma’s eyes widen, mouth going slack as she turns away from Regina.  “Are you ready?  Is Regina in there with you?”

 

Regina flicks her wrist without thinking, the door locking with a quiet click, followed by a rattling of the doorknob as David tries to push the door open.  Emma hasn’t moved, and Regina walks to her, touching her shoulder, the lace detail of Emma’s wedding dress scratchy against Regina’s palm.

 

“What do you want?” Regina asks even as they can hear Henry outside with David, the two of them murmuring indistinctly before there’s another soft knock at the door.

 

“Ma?” Henry says, and Emma stiffens under Regina’s grasp, head bowed as Regina curls her hand over Emma’s shoulder.  “Mom?  Everyone’s out there waiting.  Is something wrong?”

 

“Emma,” Regina says, more urgent as she turns to face Emma, hands falling uselessly at her sides.

 

Then Emma looks at her, eyes wet as she shakes her head.  “I can’t.  I can’t go out there.  I need to—I need to get out of here.”

 

It’s enough for Regina to grab on to the rough outline of a plan and move, murmuring, “stay here,” even as she walks to the door.

 

She unlocks it with her magic and pulls it open just a crack, enough to see Henry’s worried eyes as he cranes his neck to peer over her shoulder.

 

“Henry, I need you to listen to me and then do exactly as I say,” Regina says, eyes flickering to where David is standing in the background.

 

“Mom, what is going on?” Henry whispers.  “Is something wrong?”

 

“There’s not going to be a wedding,” Regina tells him, careful to keep her voice low so David won’t overhear and attempt to intervene.  “So I need you to meet us outside at my car.  I’ll explain later.”

 

He nods and turns to go, but stops, asking, “Is Ma okay?”

 

“It’s complicated,” Regina says, and that only makes his frown deepen.  “But everything will be okay, Henry.  I promise.  Now, go on, and don’t tell David anything right now.”

 

“He’ll want to know what’s going on, too,” Henry says.

 

“I’ll handle it.  Just walk out of the church for now, okay, sweetheart?” Regina replies, glancing back to see that Emma has started pacing.

 

“Okay,” he says, and then Henry goes, taking a hard left out of the doors of the church, sunlight spilling in through the door before it swings shut.

 

Regina catches sight of David’s surprise and pulls back into the room, magically locking the door again as she turns to Emma.

 

“Take my hand,” she says, striding forward, reaching out to Emma.  “Henry is waiting for us in the parking lot.”

 

Emma hesitates, and Regina waits, eyes fixed on Emma, and when there’s a loud bang at the door from David’s fist as he demands to be let in, Emma lunges forward and grips Regina’s hand tight.  A moment later, they disappear in a cloud of purple smoke.

 

*****

 

Henry whirls to face them when they materialize in the parking lot behind Regina’s car.  Emma drops her hand immediately, and Regina moves past her, snapping her fingers.  Three suitcases appear on the pavement, and Henry pops the trunk, loading them in as Emma stands to the side.

 

“Were you prepared for this or something?” Emma asks, and she sounds like she’s talking from somewhere far away, fragile enough to shatter if Regina says the wrong thing.  “Because I always run from everything?”

 

“Magic is able to do a lot,” Regina says as she moves to open the driver’s door.  “Including packing suitcases for three on a moment’s notice.”

 

Emma nods as Henry slides into the backseat, and then Emma gets in behind him, nearly catching her veil in the door when she pulls it closed.  Regina glances back at the church and catches sight of the door opening and David running out.  She ducks into the car and gets it running, slamming her door shut as she pushes down on the gas pedal, wheels screeching as she whips out of the parking space and they hit the open road.

 

*****

  


They’re over the town line before Regina dares to speak.  She glances at the rear view mirror and catches Henry’s worried eyes in the reflection.  Clenching her jaw, she lets her gaze briefly flicker to the right, only able to see a glimpse of Emma’s face past the gauzy white veil.

 

“Where do you want to go?” Regina asks as she looks back at the road, fingers gripping tight to the steering wheel.

 

“It doesn’t matter,” Emma says, voice hollowed out.  

 

Henry leans forward and says, “We can go to the beach?  It’s still kind of cold, but it might be nice.”

 

Regina looks over at Emma, but when Emma doesn’t say anything or move from where she’s staring out the window, she just sighs and nods to Henry.

 

“The beach will be nice,” she says with a tight smile.  “Why don’t you find somewhere for us to stay, sweetheart?”

 

Henry frowns but he nods and scoots back in his seat, pulling out his phone.  Regina focuses on the road ahead.

  


*****

  


After getting to her room, Regina glances at her phone.  Four voicemails and at least fifteen text messages, all from Snow.  A new notification pops up, this time from Zelena, and Regina sighs, dropping her phone on the bed and moving to look out her window.  The ocean is a steely grey below as it rolls up to the shore.  She goes to open the window but stops when she hears a knock at the door.  

 

When she pulls the door open, Emma gives her a smile that fades within a moment as Regina takes in the sight of her still in her wedding dress, fingers fiddling with her engagement ring.

 

“I think I might need some help getting out of this,” Emma murmurs as she fidgets and drops her gaze to the floor.  

 

Regina nods, stepping back inside to grab her room key before joining Emma in the hallway.  “I forgot how much work it was to get you into it.”

 

Emma pales, and Regina winces, fingers flying up to her mouth as though she can somehow snatch those words back out of the suddenly heavy air.  Then Emma shrugs and gives her a wan smile as she pushes open the door to her hotel room.

 

“Hopefully it will be easier to get it off,” Emma says with a brittle laugh, striding into the dim room as Regina follows after her.

 

They stand like that for a moment, Emma’s back turned to her, and Regina curls her fingers into fists, clenching them right before releasing with a long breath.  She walks up behind Emma slowly, resting a hand against her shoulder first, squeezing it briefly and then trailing up to Emma’s hair.  She pulls the pins for the veil out slowly, tossing them onto the bedspread, pulling the veil free once she's done.  She thinks she hears a sniffle from Emma when she starts on the pins buried in Emma’s blonde hair, but she just swallows and keeps working, combing her fingers through Emma’s hair as it falls free.

 

“I’ll just unbutton the dress in the back,” Regina says slowly.

 

Emma nods and Regina starts pulling the little pearl buttons free, hands trembling as she moves down the long row.  She wants to ask if this is helping, if Emma still wants to run.  If Emma wants to go back.  There's something hovering on the tip of her tongue about how it felt to take off her own wedding dress all those years ago, but it's not like she had felt free that night. If anything, she had almost fallen apart when the fabric pooled at her feet.  She settles for pressing a gentle hand to Emma’s back after she undoes the last button, fingers splayed over warm skin as Emma takes a shuddering breath.

 

“Thank you,” Emma says as her back curves under Regina’s palm, her voice thick and wet.

 

Regina hesitates but every word sticks in her throat, so she steps back, her hand falling back to her side.

 

“I’ll be in my room if you need me,” Regina says quietly before turning and walking in careful measured strides out the door.

  


*****

  


She checks her phone again when she gets back to her room.  Three new messages from Snow and one from Zelena that simply reads “call me” with a slightly excessive amount of exclamation marks.

 

Regina opts to listen to one of the voicemails Snow left first.  She slips out of her heels as she listens to Snow stumble through concerned questions, words picking up speed as she keeps talking, insisting that they can work everything out, that it’s just cold feet.  Pinching her nose between thumb and forefinger, Regina deletes the voicemail.

 

She goes to her window, unlocking it and pulling it open.  Leaning her head against the sill, Regina takes a couple of deep breaths before calling Zelena.

 

It only takes two rings before Zelena picks up.  “So, you ran off with the bride?”

 

“It’s not like that,” Regina says with a small sigh.  

 

“Then what is it?” Zelena asks.

 

“I don’t know,” Regina says as she shrugs and stares out at the ocean.  Then the next words simply tumble out, “She kissed me at the church.”

 

“And?” Zelena says, her voice almost teasing.

 

“And that’s all,” Regina snaps.  

 

There’s a long pause and then Zelena says, “Are you okay?”

 

Regina closes her eyes, breathes for a moment.  “No.”

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Zelena says.

 

“No,” Regina replies, voice softer.

 

Zelena huffs.  “Well, fine.”

 

Regina presses her fingers to her forehead.  “Zelena, don’t…”

 

“Fine,” Zelena says, an edge still in her voice.  

 

“If you want to help, you can let Snow and David know that we’re all safe and together,” Regina says as she turns from the window, bones aching as she sits down on the bed.

 

“You owe me, then,” Zelena says, already chipper again, probably imagining some awful favor she can extract from Regina at a later date.  “Snow has been insufferable since you lot disappeared.”

 

“You’ve been talking to Snow?” Regina asks, rolling her eyes a little at Zelena’s indignation.

 

“Not by choice,” Zelena mutters.  

 

Regina laughs.  “You’ll live.”

 

“Most likely, but I won’t be held responsible for my actions if they don’t leave me alone,” Zelena says, and Regina just shakes her head.    


“Maybe just call them or something,” Regina says even though she knows Zelena is probably already dreaming up clever ways to deliver the news.  “And thank you.”

 

“Always happy to help my dear little sis out,” Zelena says and she almost sounds sincere.  She pauses and says quietly,  “But if you do want to talk…”

 

“I know,” Regina replies with a slight smile.

 

After Zelena ends the call, Regina lets the phone drop to her lap and sits, listening to the distant sound of the waves as they crash on the shore.

  


*****

  


The next morning, Emma wanders up to the table where Regina and Henry are eating breakfast, smiling a little shyly.  

 

“Hey, Ma,” Henry says as he glances up.  

 

“Hey,” Emma says quietly.  She shuffles her feet and asks, “Is the breakfast any good?”

 

“They have bacon,” Regina says with a slight smile.  “And coffee.”

 

“Good enough,” Emma replies with a slight laugh.  “Maybe I’ll just get some coffee to go.”

 

“Where are you going?” Henry asks.

 

Emma shrugs as she says, “To the beach.  I actually thought you could come with me?”

 

“Um, sure,” he says.  After Emma wanders off to find coffee, Henry looks at Regina, frowning as he says, “Mom, what’s going on?”

 

“What do you mean, Henry?” Regina asks as she pushes her half-eaten eggs around her plate.  “It just sounds like she wants to take a walk with you on the beach.”

 

“I mean, what are we doing _here_ ?” he says with a shake of his head.  “Is she breaking up with Hook?  What _happened_?”

 

“She just needs some time to figure things out, sweetheart,” Regina says, voice soft as she reaches across the table.  When he sighs and takes her hand, she continues, “I know this is confusing, but she needs to think everything through and decide what to do next.  For now, just try to enjoy spending some time with her.”

 

Henry starts to say something, but then Emma walks back over to them, coffee cup in hand as she says, “You ready to go, kid?”

 

“Yeah,” he replies as Regina lets his hand go and sits back in her chair.  He gives her a small smile.  “I’ll see you later, Mom.”

 

Regina manages a smile and waves them off, watching as they walk away.  After they disappear outside, she lets her shoulders slump and leans back in her chair.  

  


*****

  


Regina wanders down to the beach the next day, coffee and an extra sweater in hand as she makes her way across the cool sand to where Emma is sitting on a blanket.  Emma doesn’t look away from the ocean when Regina steps onto the edge of the blanket, and Regina nudges Emma’s shoulder with her knee, holding out the sweater when Emma finally looks up.

 

“You looked cold,” Regina says when Emma’s forehead creases with her confusion, and then Emma gives her a small, tight smile.

 

“Thanks,” Emma says as she pulls the sweater from Regina’s outstretched hand and tugs it over her head.  

 

Regina nods and settles on the blanket beside Emma, passing Emma the coffee as well.  Then she waits, drawing her knees up to her chest and staring out at the waves rolling onto the shore.  

 

After a few minutes, Emma says, “You aren’t going to ask me about anything?”

 

“Do you want to talk?” Regina asks as she turns her head to study Emma’s pale face, taking in her shadowed eyes, how Emma’s left thumb is tucked across her palm, rubbing the band of her engagement ring.

 

“Maybe,” Emma says.  She sighs and looks over at Regina.  “I never did thank you for helping me that day.”

 

“You don’t have to thank me,” Regina says quietly, smiling a bit as she leans over and tucks some of Emma’s hair behind her ear.  

 

She’s tempted to trace the curve of Emma’s cheek with her thumb but withdraws instead, wrapping her arms back around her knees as Emma stares at her, eyes wide.  

 

“Still,” Emma says as her lips curve into a small smile.  “Thank you.  I don’t know what I would do without--” she pauses and clears her throat, continuing--”just, thanks for getting me out of there.”

 

“Any time,” Regina replies.  

 

“And I’m sorry that I wasn’t there for you,” Emma says, her smile fading.  “You went through a lot with the queen, and I didn’t...I should have done more.”

 

“It’s not like you haven’t had other things to worry about,” Regina says, shrugging.  “And I made it through just fine.”

 

Emma shakes her head.  “No, I could have done more.  I just--I got so caught up in everything else.”

 

“Maybe,” Regina says.  “I did have Zelena to help me, though.”  Emma scoffs at that, and Regina laughs before saying, “She did help.  In her own way.”

 

“I’ll take your word for it,” Emma says, smiling.  Then her eyes fall to her ring and her smile fades again.

 

Regina stares at the diamond for a moment, hesitating, but she finally asks, “Do you know what you want to do next?”

 

"I left him at the altar,” Emma mutters.  She pushes her hair away from her face and says, “And I don’t know--I love him. But with the wedding...it all felt wrong.  And I don’t know how to fix it.”

 

“Do you want to marry him?” Regina says, focusing on keeping her voice steady, trying not to remember Emma’s lips pressed to hers even as Hook stood waiting for Emma in the chapel.

 

“I thought I did,” Emma replies with a small sigh.  “Maybe I didn’t.  It was just so easy to say yes, you know?  He loves me and he wanted this so much.  I thought that it would be easy to just give it to him.”

 

“Emma,” Regina breathes out, tightening her arms around her legs to stop herself from reaching out to Emma.

 

“I _know_ ,” Emma says, voice edged with irritation.  “I know how you feel about him.  But I thought I could do this.  I thought I could finally be what he wanted.”

 

Regina chews on her bottom lip, considering Emma’s words, heart heavy as she looks at Emma’s slumped shoulders.  She releases her legs and shifts so she’s facing Emma, placing a careful hand on Emma’s knee.

 

“You don’t owe him this, Emma,” she says quietly.  “He should want you for who you are right now.  Not for who he thinks you might be.”

 

“What if I never want to get married?” Emma asks as she stares out at the ocean.

 

“At all?  Or to him?” Regina replies.

 

Emma huffs and jerks her knee away from Regina’s hand.  “Does it matter?”

 

“I suppose it doesn’t,” Regina murmurs as she presses her hand to the blanket, fingers curling against the fabric, still fighting the urge to touch Emma again.  She withdraws for a moment, resituating until she’s facing the ocean again, chin resting on her knees as she says, “There is a difference, Emma.  Between wanting things from you and wanting things for you.”

 

“Then what do I do?” Emma asks, voice small, quiet, trembling.

 

Regina turns her head, smiles softly when Emma meets her gaze, and says, “What do you _want_ , Emma?”

 

Emma’s eyes widen, and she ducks her head, going back to playing with her ring.  Around and around and around as she frowns down at it, and Regina waits, heart drumming in her chest as she watches.  Then Emma stops, and slowly slips the ring from her finger.

 

It sits in her palm, glinting in the sunlight, and Regina freezes, eyes focused on Emma’s face.  On the tears slipping from Emma’s eyes and her small, wondrous smile.  Then Emma closes her fist and the ring disappears from view.  Emma doesn’t speak, but she slides over on the blanket until her shoulder brushes Regina’s.

 

She leans her head on Regina’s shoulder, and Regina closes her eyes, pressing her right hand to the base of Emma’s spine as the waves crash on the shore.

  


*****

  


Regina glances up from her book when she hears the knock on her door, frowning as she puts the book to the side and goes to answer it.  She had thought Henry had already gone to bed an hour ago, and she hadn’t seen Emma since Regina had left her sitting on the beach earlier in the day.  

 

She pulls the door open and sees Emma standing in the hallway, clutching two paper cups and a brown paper bag in her hand.

 

“Fancy a drink?” Emma asks, holding the bag up with a hopeful smile.

 

Regina nods slowly, smiling a bit and rolling her eyes when Emma’s grin widens; she steps away from the door to let Emma in and then shuts it carefully while she she listens to Emma move in the room behind her, the paper bag rustling.  Taking a deep breath, Regina turns to face Emma, crossing her arms over her chest as Emma brandishes a bottle of Jack Daniels.

 

“Not exactly top shelf, but I figured you wouldn’t mind roughing it a bit,” Emma says as she cracks the seal and pours some into a cup.

 

Regina takes the cup Emma holds out to her and glances down at the amber liquid.  “Well, I suppose it’s better than nothing.”

 

“Yeah, well, cheers,” Emma says with a small shrug, taking a small sip and grimacing before pushing some hair out of her face.

 

Regina catches sight of her bare left hand and says, “You’re not wearing your ring.”

 

“Yeah, I took it off.  You were there,” Emma replies, brow furrowing.

 

“I know.  I just didn’t know if…” Regina’s voice trails off, and she looks away, lifting the paper cup to her lips and drinking some of the whiskey a bit too quickly, the burn stinging her throat.  

 

“If I would actually keep it off?” Emma asks quietly, and Regina’s cheeks flush.

 

“It’s just that it’s a big decision,” Regina says as she sits down on the end of the bed.

 

Emma nods.  “I know.  It’s not like I didn’t think about it.”

 

“And?” Regina murmurs.

 

“And I don’t regret it,” Emma says, smiling a little.  “I’m going to be fine, Regina.”

 

Regina smiles and says, “Good.  I’m glad.”

 

She stares back down into her cup and only glances back up when Emma says, “Hey, are you okay?”

 

“I’m fine,” Regina says with a small shrug.  She frowns as she turns her next words over in her head before asking, “I mean, I think I’ve been wondering why you kissed me that day.”

 

“I guess that I--” Emma stops and sighs.  “I guess I just thought that it might be my only chance.  I had thought... _wanted_ for so long and I--I shouldn’t have done that to you.  I’m sorry.”

 

“Emma, I--” Regina swallows hard and meets Emma’s gaze as she says, “You don’t have to apologize.  I _wanted_ you to kiss me.  In fact, I--”

 

She stops short, heat rising in her cheeks, watching as Emma’s eyes widen with realization, fingers gripping the duvet underneath her tight.  Emma puts her cup down on the table and takes a couple of strides, pausing even as Regina leans forward.

 

“You want to kiss me again?” Emma says, the words halfway between a statement and question, and Regina just nods, a little breathless as Emma closes the distance between them.

 

Then Emma’s lips are on hers again, soft, hesitant, and Regina responds immediately, hands coming up to slide along Emma’s hips, clutching and releasing as she tries to get Emma closer and closer, a sigh humming up her throat.  Emma shifts and their teeth clack together.  Emma freezes under Regina’s hands, already starting to withdraw, but Regina tilts her head, leans up to press a soft kiss to the corner of Emma’s mouth.

 

“Come here,” Regina murmurs, lips brushing over Emma’s jaw, her chin, her mouth again.

 

Emma shuffles her feet and straddles Regina’s lap, kissing Regina again suddenly, right hand cupping the back of Regina’s neck.  Regina trails her fingers up under the back of Emma’s shirt, tracing the knobs of her spine as she gasps against Emma’s mouth.  Emma breaks the kiss and leans her forehead against Regina’s as she breathes in harsh pants, thumb stroking the soft skin of Regina’s neck.

 

“God, I’ve wanted this, _you_ , for so long,” Emma says quietly with a small laugh.  “I just never thought…”

 

“I thought I was the only one,” Regina says, shaking her head.  “Emma, I waited _years_ and we could have--if I had known…”

 

“I’m sorry,” Emma replies, and Regina rolls her eyes before pulling Emma into a short, hard kiss.

 

“Don’t apologize,” Regina says.  She reaches up and cups Emma’s cheek in her hand, thumb tracing the line of her cheekbone, smiling as she says, “Just kiss me.”

 

Emma grins and ducks her head, brushing her lips over the inside of Regina’s wrist before leaning in and kissing Regina again.

  


*****

  


The next morning, on Regina’s last trip back from her room to make sure she didn’t leave anything in the hotel room, Emma corners her outside the entrance, hands landing on Regina’s hips as Emma kisses her softly.

 

Regina smiles and says, “Are you ready to go back?”

 

“Yeah,” Emma replies but her voice wavers.  

 

“We don’t have to leave today if you’re not,” Regina says quietly, but Emma shakes her head.

 

“No, I’m ready,” Emma says, smiling as she leans in to kiss Regina again.

 

Regina leans into her, one of her hands drifting down to rest on Emma’s ass, and she laughs against Emma’s mouth when she hears Henry’s sound of disgust behind them.

 

“Aw, Moms, come on,” he says, and Regina pulls back from Emma to look at their son leaning out of the car window, a mock expression of horror on his face.

 

“Get used to it, kid,” Emma calls over to him, and he shakes his head as he settles into the backseat of the car.  Then Emma turns to Regina, smiling as she says, “Let’s go home.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
